Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
