Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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