you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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