He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
