id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
