i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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