he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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