And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
