we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
