we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
bring money and cleavage
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
