so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize