Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
