Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
either way he was missing a nipple.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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