they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
