Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
