Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
