Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
