You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Randomize
