I think I just saw someone hide a body.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize