i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
