I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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