Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
