You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
