IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
