Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
