Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
