I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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