if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
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