Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Someone came in the potted fern
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
