brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
