super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
