absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
