You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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