I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
