youre lurking in front of me
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
