His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
