i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
