A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
