youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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