i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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