Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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