no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Its about making memories worth repressing
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
