I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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