You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
