Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
