Don't you send me to vm
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
