In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
