You can't special order awesome
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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