Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
