well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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