Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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