I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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