first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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