I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
