It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
