What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
