(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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