U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
