so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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