Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize