Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
