that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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