i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
